Do you have a group of guys that you occasionally call up to hang out with on the weekend? How do you feel when another woman says, "You're so Press J to jump to the feed. Wanting to join friends is normal in Asian dating whatever stage in friendship /relationship they are. I was invited to this event on Facebook and I saw that she was going as well and she liked a recent post made about the event (recent as in Wednesday) its tonight and she might have wanted to go with just her friends or hook up with someone else, which is completely fair but why wouldnt she just say that she promised her friends shed hang out with them? April 3, 2013, 12:16 pm. GatorGirl Unless his family is wealthy and contributing he has a huge debt and Im assuming your not rich or have a large income. IME, it's designed to make you think you'll be getting some, er, 'attention'. So how much does it really cost to go out to dinner together or go to an art fair or something? Not seeing someone on two weekends is not an asshole. 4. Then came Friday and the weekend, and again, no texts. first off, i wonder why you let us know you are japanese. That age puts him in *his* residency training, so his hours probably are crazy. Not much. So its entirely possible that we should be viewing this as if he was an average joe and inviting her out / texting her on Saturdays and Sundays (by which I mean that I think most people who jump to his job is crazy rather than hes seeing you on the side), I agree about the text she sent, although Im thinking she said LESS, not more. Its when you make the decision and dont own it that you get hurt. i mean, you dont even know each other how can you possible know how he has compartmentalized you into his life, if he even has, in 4 dates? If it's not weird to you then it doesn't matter. In all honestly if I were to put myself in the guys position (taking the sex out of the equation) and the person I was casually dating felt they needed more time or attention from me I would be fairly freaked out/annoyed. There are things people do other than try and hook up with other girls or go home to their wives like sport, hobbies, see family, study (it only gets worse when you graduate med school). I hope such is not the case but he didnt want you to meet his other friends. And if Im not excited about you yet, then you are not getting my weekend time. She wants to just hook up, and not date? He might be thinking you're hanging with your girls on weekends or something, so he's not bothering to ask you. Didn't you already try the 1 on 1 meet up? Dont get attached when you think you know someone. April 3, 2013, 11:56 am. Alcoholic vampire. If hes a 27-year-old doctor, he must be in residency still, right? I would say we love each other. Regardless, he hasnt contacted you in two weeks. April 3, 2013, 2:29 pm. Well, Im not a guy but the reason is pretty obvious to me. Which, actually, now that I think of it that way, is basically the same reason. Even the initial discussions (yes, they were fueled by alcohol) uncovered some very big disagreements about what food flavours go with sex flavours. So yes he very well not be interested. I would just leave it. When I first meet someone, I much prefer the ease of drinks after work or a quick, easy dinner for a few hours during the week then a full-blown Saturday night date fest. Texting You Without Hanging Out With You Means 'I Don't Want To Date Should I go on and ask her to go out again or will that seem too needy? That's not weird at all. thats a perfectly acceptable move. Apr 22, 2012. He has another girlfriend who, for some reason, he can only see on weekends. I like the Your Turns. Theres something fishy going on. If you wanted to know why he didnt want to see you on the weekends, you should have asked. I dont get it. Or when he had her over for takeout and to sleep over? That way, she won't feel the pressure of 1-1 meet up. Two weekends in a row? I'm seeing someone right now, and I'm not sure that would go over well. Copyright 2022 Dear Wendy. Hes with his wife. Yeah, I always prefer having Wendys advice, but Your Turn is important to the site for functional reasons, and I love anything that helps DearWendy thrive! I can think of a bazillion reasons why over the span of 2 weeks you never met on the weekend, but based purely on wild speculation from the one time it seems you asked to spend time with him on a sort-of weekend, I would guess that he wasnt going to blow off plans he had already made with his friends to meet up with someone that hes gone on a total of 2 or 3 dates with. I didnt really read all of the comments yet but it seems like everyone is saying hes not that into her. She had a good end. Caring for her the last few days she was alive and seeing how badly she was hurting made it a little easier knowing shes done with the pain now. She usually initiates it. But these guys are really cool, they treat me like one of their buddies, they don't sit there and tell me how much money they're making to try to impress me. And having sex does not mean you know them yet. It wasnt just a go out and get drunk type of hookup We first went out to get drinks at 6. Im not opposed to seeing someone on weekends, but I would be annoyed if I spent my weekdays with someone and it still wasnt enough. Peoples lives are in your hands. Yes. That's usually a good giveaway. April 3, 2013, 10:09 am. Its OK if he needs some time out with his friends or to unwind without you (you did only just start dating! Dating a doctor is hard, and not everyone can deal with the crazy schedule, and thats perfectly OK if having a crazy schedule doesnt match your needs, but I think you also need to alter your expectations a little. Im dying of curiosity here ?? OTOH he may be doing what one of my dads ex girlfriends was doing when pulling the same stunt. But since you give no indication that youve actually communicated with him about this, I would say that thats where you should start if youre still keeping your hopes up. I sort of had a different take on this. He may have just wanted to relax without having to play host, or maybe the plans were something that a new quasi girlfriend wouldnt have been appropriate at, like a birthday party. maybe it was because you had sex with him, maybe its just because you two had a good time together, i dunno but, it just seems like he is busy and/or not very into you. I assume she wouldve just never texted me anything if she werent interested at all. Only one way to find out for sure. - If you want an FWB then be friends with someone first. The fade out is my favorite break up method when youre not official. Sure. *Puts reading into the situation pants on* Now you may be taking the consecutive hook ups as a signal that things are moving forward with you both and he is viewing it as extremely casual / does not view that as any evidence things were moving forward hence the black out communication and seeming bewilderment when you were obviously upset over it via the passive aggressive text response. Yeah I didnt find his reluctance to co-mingle their friends as particularly odd or alarming. Plus when its still new and youre just getting to know someone, you dont immediately introduce them to all your friends. Its entirely possible that he has been working 120-hour weeks for the past 2 weeks. Some forums can only be seen by registered members. And who introduces a new romance/fuck to all their friends after like a grand total of THREE dates? 9. 1. Im Fing flattered when he makes time for me on a weekday. Sounds like he was mildly but not terribly interested, and gave up when she stopped making it easy to set up weekday dates. What do you guys think of this kind of behavior? Not a Weekday Girl. No WAY!!!! what does it mean if a girl only wants to hang out with you in a group I'm confused as you are all over the place with your thinking on her and whatever it is you're trying to accomplish with her. I think it was at least 2 months before my boyfriend met any of my friends and vice versa. I definitely agree with your first point. I've gone 2 mini dates with this hb. But for my own sanity, I cant dwell too much on the limitations Im working with. He decided he liked one of the other women better and is done with LW. I still post! If you want to see someone on the weekend, ask explicitly more than a few hours beforehand. I mean if Im breaking up with you its not me, its you so how do I say that? Thats foolish. Geez way to be passive aggressive. Sunshine Brite Don't go hang out with her friends you don't want to become a part of your world you want her to become a part of your world. Because this guy is not it. But maybe give her advice on what she should do next time she is in this situation. . I'm not my wife's best friend, and she prefers having fun with her Just dont make a whine thread if a girl plays you in the future. You assume she is having sex mid-week. TikTok mom who got 'dumped' while pregnant shares how Tinder date became her fianc. April 3, 2013, 3:08 pm. How did you meet? the_other_wendy I completely disagree with that. A lot of doctors can very, very easily cheat because theyre always on call and cant answer a cell phone at work, etc. What does it mean when a girl wants to hang out? New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. April 3, 2013, 10:12 am. I'm so sorry! Does that mean I was married? I don't have the stomach for that kind of stuff. Girl only wants to hang out over alcohol - Dating Advice - eNotAlone Most people who sleep together on the first date dont get married, yes, but most people who refrain from doing so dont get married eitherIf there is any connection between sex on the first date and no serious relationship that follows, its probably a self-fulfilling prophecy thing, where people (women) expect to be put into a certain category after having sex on the first date and start giving a vibe of insecurity. If that matters at all haha. I know all relationships are different and sometimes it works out when a couple immediately starts spending time with one another 24/7, but people have lives and that shouldnt necessarily stop for the guy/girl youve gone on four dates with. Im picturing a terse one-liner about being out with friends, probablylike you saidmimicking a previous text hed sent her. She Asked Me To Hang Out (Signs She Likes You As More than a Friend) Why? It appears that things were moving quite quickly without it. Im probably all over the place because I dont even know what I want. 2.) April 3, 2013, 4:05 pm. There is so much more here going on. I think its a myth. Girl only wants to hang out over alcohol | Hip Forums TLDR: My group of girl friends always want to call it a night early on weekends, but I'm always ready to keep going. Once they reach their mid-20s, however, the introverts go back to their natural state. ), since he only has so many hours in the day. Be sure you transport yourself to their place and keep your cell on you, not in your purse. This fling has been unflung. My advice to the LW would be to go more with the flow in the future and not get too invested in a guy too soon. ReadingIsFundamental By Thursday the last thing I want to do is cook a meal for someone else after a day at work.. the_other_wendy Dating is a game of chance. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding. Haha this is awesome. Leave that as what it is. And if thats the case, and you guys have gone on a few dates and never had any conversations about making it a serious thing . 8 Reasons Why She Texts But Doesn't Want to Hang Out! - TextGod.com But his reply sounded like he was not keen to see me while he was out withfriends. The only way to find out what he thinks is to ask him. Read More >, This has never happened in our family before. fast eddie So, I always make sure I tell them. I dont think his work schedule is the only important variable here, but its definitely one to think about. Um, hello, he cooked her dinner in his place on Valentines Day? Hope this helps! Whats he like? While I do think he could certainly do a much better job of showing that hes interested (if he is, in fact, interested) cause I mean, yeah, texting someone is pretty easy 3-4 dates isnt much. I guess my question is, if she werent interested, would she be acting this way? yeah, theyre totally not like that. On that note, am I the only one who thinks little of weekday dates? More likely, she freaked herself out after sleeping with him too soon, and therefore was hyper-examining everything. I do think that its good for someone who knows they dont want a relationship to bring that up too, though. What What is one thing you tried that youll never do again? So, rather than just ignore those letters, I post them as a Your Turn and let you guys go crazy. 6 Important Life Lessons Being a Mother (of a Toddler) Has Taught Me, My Boyfriend Has Epilepsy and I Cant Handle It, My Terminally Ill Spouse Refuses to Stop Cheating. He may leave his weekends open for friends, studying or keeping his options open and meeting other people. Where do you all hang out on weekends with your child? Unless your girlfriend is forcing you to go with her to her parents' house every week for Sunday dinner or you have other plans she is regularly blowing off or refuses to commit to because of her long-standing date at Mom and Dad's (and if that's the case, my advice would be a little different here), I just don't get what the problem is. Its on the person who wants to be serious to let the other person know about that. I cant tell you one way or another, but its important to ask yourself: Is what Ive been doing, who Ive been interacting with, what Ive been accepting aligned with my intention of desiring a serious relationship? Both in this interaction with THIS guy, in particular, and in your daily life, in general. Thanks guys. Honestly, a few weeks in when I had no idea where the relationship was going to go, I just wasnt ready to give up my prime free time for someone I wasnt even sure was going to be in the picture for a long time. You dont mention any consideration of his schedule in your letter. So: What's your goal and what do you think your chances are of reaching it with her in her current state of mind? Just in general. See thats so lame! We share each other easily, take a back seat in most instances to facilitate primary relationships, encourage each other to find what we each want. probably the majority of millionaires do, but not us regular folk. Really, (1) is a good point that many people have explored so far. April 3, 2013, 12:38 pm. You didnt decide to be exclusive, so if hes casually dating other people thats OK, and if he wants to carve out time for his friends, thats OK too. Important: Quickly letting you know I found the best opener EVER. Oh and she hasnt really given me any compliments other than I'm a great big brother to my lil bro. He could have just had two busy weekends in a row. Nobody around me has ever found it weird. Of course it's not weird. Didnt you watch Goodfellas? Zoyq Texting is fun! ). If things work out it will be a just sex thing. But anyway, first: What Katie saidits not always a bad, bad move to have sex on the first date. We were gonna play puttputt after the dinner but it was almost closing time and she didnt want to be rude to the workers. Well I figure if I didnt tell him, then Id maybe end up stringing him along. Is there any way we know what it turned out to be?? If it's something that you can't go to then just be like whatever. The last guy I dated, I slept with on the first date, and a month or so later, he was surprised to find out that I wasnt looking for something casual too. To that end -. Thats why he cant meet up when hes out with friends on Friday. wendyblueeyes well, Im a romantic guy who gets easily attached, and even Id look at that and be like, Uh, ok. Obviously I pissed her off and shes no longer interested. If you want a number, once every 6 weeks. 5 Warning Signs She Doesn't Want to Hang Out (Helpful Examples) (although I admit I only realized you were a guy maybe like a month ago? answers from Chicago on October 30, 2008. mmmCheesy You sleeping with him on the first date was not a bad idea. Having sex with same partner? If the LW was interested in more than just dating she should have had a discussion with him about it. JavaScript is disabled. I know guys who figure if a girl sleeps with them early that she actually doesnt want a relationship since culturally the girls that do wait. He also never texts me. I hate to say but it might be the ethnic difference, assuming hes not Asian. You Only Hang Out Once A Week If you and your almost-partner have been dating once a week for two months or more, then beware.. If the LW wants more than that she needs to talk to him about it and not be all passive-aggressive. We slept together again. It seems like the only time you both tried to make weekend plans was kind of a group hang out with your respective sets of friends. The two weekends also could have been long distance old friend meet ups or some planned events that he would not want to invite you to so early on. April 3, 2013, 10:28 am. But how lovely for your grandma that she had you with her at the end. Maybe he has friends who he only gets to hang out with on the weekends, and thats guy time. So now every guy that just isnt that into you is married? How about, Let me know when you make up your mind.. I read once, it might have been here but maybe somewhere else, that Thursday is the new Friday in the dating world. It sounds like he assumed she was no longer interested when she ignored one text and then replied shortly to the next text, and he moved on. Diablo and GuyFriday are walking on thin ice too. LW, have you discussed this guys work schedule with him at all? Mrg06. And so my teachings continue to go unheard. I hope you and your family are able to find peace soon. She's got to put her vulnerabilities out there and see how the cards fall. Of course Im not complaining, but it doesnt really give off the vibe that shes looking for real dates. Long story short, I [23F] matched with another girl [21F] on bumble last week asked her out on a Wednesday, said she was busy that night and Thursday and suggested Friday. Its possible (*just* a possibility) that he got the feeling that you werent going to be very sympathetic of his schedule and therefore lost interest. LW, you seem to be one of those people who have a set of rules in their mind how dating must work (no sex on the first date! Is it weird for a girl to hang out with a group of only guys? True. guys are still people. You just barely met. Thats a serious red flag. If you have a relationship/dating question I can help answer, you can send me your letters at wendy@dearwendy.com. When your intentions and actions start to align, then youll more easily find someone whose intentions, desires and actions mesh with yours. 15 Signs She's Just Using Him For The Weekend Its really sad "i will take the sex but don't want to be throwing money around". Maybe you do. It's never been weird for me. Honestly, in a way I hope I die the way she did. Give him a chance, see how he incorporates you into his life, or doesnt, and make a decision whether you want to keep seeing him or not based on that. I just want to have sex with her - hopefully the feelings are mutual. If thats the case you may get the attention you want eventually if your willing to be his FWB for the time being. parton_doll I think the question is , do you want a girl just to shag , or a girl that would be the mother of your kids ? Joked with her that she still owed me a tour of campus and she replied that shed love to sometime.. said some other stuff and she said something and Im gonna leave it at that. He calls you cute. Even Dan Savage reaches out to external experts when he doesnt have personal experience in certain issues, like the straight world. For an unemployed slacker, a couple of texts and a call or two a week is woefully unappreciative. LIke they do with their bestie. he has time to hang out with all his friends on the weekend though, one random friday night? Im a girl, but thats pretty much how I read it too. See you did have something to add. After you gave him the brush-off he may have been mildly offended himself and probably figured he could go back to online dating. If he gives you a dodgy answer, go on social media find out yourself and see what he is up to (this is a good way to caught someone if he is in a relationship or just to get an idea if hes juggling girls, some girls will leave hints). Especially me. This boyfriend of yours. Sounds like she's looking to cheat, and wants sex only. Im sorry you lost your Grandma LBH. I take my child to parks, indoor playgrounds and museums each weekend, hoping to meet other only children families. Id say cut the guy some slack. Does he have another girlfriend, is he just keeping you as a booty call, does he have a crazy work schedule, or is it something else? And Ive known her for decades, not days. That said it may also be that he needs some time to sort out his feelings for you. Nope.. because there isnt remotely enough information here. Please be patient. Keeping dates to weekends is normal at this stage. If I were the recipient of that text it would have been the nail in the coffin for that relationship. . She wants to go out. Thats NOT a mistake be it on the 1st date or the 10th and the following dates were enjoyable also to so it wasnt a case of simple curiosity or over stocked harmonies. Its kinda odd hes not available on weekends. Maybe he was working, maybe he was visiting his parents, maybe he was dating five other girls, who cares. And, to reiterate what others have said, with his work schedule weeknights might sometimes be his Saturday nights, so to speak. Not cool. Going out for ice cream or coffee are also good alternatives. Some forums can only be seen by registered members. What a weird thing to get hung up on. Could he be a louse who just wants ass? Right? When you see a girl on her phone, enthralled, she is probably texting. 5. Pick up the phone and call. She basically threw away a decent guy because she was being a petulant little brat. Anyway, my point is that I dont think this guy is a douche who only wanted sex on his boring weekday evenings and I dont think this is a case of hes just not that into you. Since I've never had guy friends before, I don't know what is normal! lets_be_honest I havent known her for that long so I know I have zero right to judge or be jealous that shes sleeping with other people, but I do have some concerns for STDs and such and I guess personally, I just prefer people who arent sleeping around since Im not one to do that, but if sex with someone attractive presents itself to me Im probably not gonna turn it down. And we were RARELY on call every weekend. If you dont find the info you need in this column, please visit the Dear Wendy archives or the forums (you can even start your own thread), do a search in the search bar, or submit a question for advice at wendy(AT)dearwendy.com. Best day ever! Texting is an easy way to get in touch, but if you notice your texts are never reciprocated or that she always has excuses when you ask her to hang out, it might be time to start worrying about why she's not responding.. 2. I also agree with others who have said that they interpreted her blunt out with friends as a short passive aggressive comment. I pulled that number out of my butt, but it sounds about right. Uzaki-chan Wants to Hang Out!Uzaki-chan Wants to Play!Uzaki-chan wa Asobitai!compilationFunny Anime Moments#compilation #Uzaki #Anime I had to learn that the hard way.a few times before it stuckhaha. Dump and forget, it ain't happening. They had only gone on a handful of dates!!! Skyblossom 7 ways people who don't go out on weekends are living the best I didnt even tell anybody about him for the first 3 weeks even though I really really liked him, because it was so new and I didnt know yet how things were going to go. April 3, 2013, 3:10 pm, Im sad I got to the party late and that this is buried at the bottom but. It sounds like they only went on like 4 dates? For example, I dont really do sex advice. Thank you for understanding that right now, I just dont have the time or energy to answer a letter every single day on top of everything else I do (which includes answering 4-6 letters a week already). If he has a lot going for him, then he probably has options, and it doesnt make sense to expect him to drop everything and make you his first priority after a handful of dates. You wouldnt know for sure unless he told you. Im not nearly as busy since Im not a doctor, but my weekends are my time with friends or family, volunteering, and me time. I am NOT saying all doctors cheat. Even in LTRs and marriages, this is still likely truer than we would ever want to believe or admit. who cares if different friend groups have different bed times? I started to feel like I was being used as his convenient Weekday Girl when he doesnt have anything better to do. Its funny and aggravating all at the same time. BTW- Today is Bagges Birthday, I think! I was a single girl living at home with my mom and Id already planned a night out with my girlfriends. You cant get that attached after 3 dates and expect him to behave like your boyfriend, keeping weekends open for you. She is most likely texting a few guys at the same time. Work on attraction and comfort make these issues your focus. If she is into you, you won't have to ask more than 2-3 times, so you should be dating in 4 months or so. It's, well, 'intoxicating'. She knew that Friday and Saturday nights are the big money nights for a bartender, therefore they work those days. It involves planning and driving and scheduling and effort. My husband and his friends will have a "guys" weekend once a year. It sounds like you got pissed off and responded with curt texts instead of communicating your wants. I don't see it as strange at all. I would assume that its casual unless and until its made explicit that its not, regardless of the timing of sexual activities . As far as we know theyre just dating. 8. Id be $100 that he actually was out with friends. So I let her go. So maybe smiling and laughing at their jokes is a great way to let them know your interest. So, she doesn't want to hang out over dinner, but she does over drinks. They do set the bar high when it comes to dating. April 3, 2013, 1:43 pm. First date Sunday, second date Tuesday, out of town (daily texts), third date when she returned to town (and on V-day to boot) then she points out that she didnt hear from him the next day until she texted him & it was a Friday and he already have plans. Id MOA (especially after not having heard from him in over 2 weeks), I thought of you! Funny story- I slept with, but did not have sex with, my husband on our first date. The only mistake about it is thinking it meant something beyond the fact that you were both horny and enjoyed yourselves. The only reason I text her back is because she does me and feel like I'm being rude if I don't. iwannatalktosampson In the end, the why doesnt matter. I think youre right to believe that you werent important enough yet to see on the weekends, but wrong to conflate it with being used for sex maybe he was just waiting to see how things went before introducing you to friends. Id add that if a guy thinks having sex on the first date eliminates you as relationship materia,l then hes not someone you want to have a relationship with. April 3, 2013, 12:33 pm, Im not a huge fan of Your Turn either, but Wendy is a busy lady already, so this does allow us to see more letters without her getting overwhelmed trying to give awesome, wise advice every single day (probably takes awhile to write those fantastic answers she always gives!). You said it felt right, so leave it at that. If you want a party animal, be one. ha), lets_be_honest (while she's kept her cards quite close to her chest), Thats why I dont want to invest too much into her i.e. I once offered to write a food and sex advice blog for my friends called Put It There, Pal. I could have offered some colossally bad advice there, but the uptake wasnt what I had hoped. If you guys had already hung out twice in one week, maybe the weekend seemed like overkill, but by Monday, he wanted to see you again? Even that may not be conclusive. Sucks for his wife on Valentines day then! Talk to him again, if he arrange to meet on weekdays, try suggesting what about Friday night or Saturday night? tell him you prefer to meet on weekends, if he cant, asked him why? your intuition is correct. Texting doesnt have the richness or subtlety of expression thats needed, especially when first building a relationship. April 3, 2013, 10:46 am. Yeah. With respect to what you want, it can be tough when you and your peers are in early 20s. She responded saying "yeah, maybe we could all go." meaning all of us, as a group. But it does bug the shit out of me when women say they don't have any girlfriends because girls are all drama and whatever. April 3, 2013, 9:28 am. I pulled that number out of my butt, but it sounds about right. April 3, 2013, 10:32 am. Set the tone of the relationship you want. It seems to me like he just wants to date and have fun. April 3, 2013, 12:17 pm. But, frankly, I think you probably already pissed away any chance you had of getting serious with this guy with that last text you sent. stop reaching out first let him come to you which means he wants you then you can dictate your terms. April 3, 2013, 3:11 pm. Either way, just see how things go. All my friends are guys and we all hangout we're so close they kip on the couch most of the time. A girl doesn't develop a guarded stance overnight. But even in the more reasonably-houred fields, there are weeks/months that are more intensive. I think she should contact him on the phone next time instead of relying on text messages for someone to understand how important something is to you, and remember that communication is key, that way you arent making up different scenarios as to why somebody isnt hanging out with you. Typically, when our intentions and our actions arent aligned, we end up with a situation that isnt working for us. Just because a guy doesnt drop his whole life for you, it does not mean hes married or being dishonest. Either MOA or become OK with it. Lily in NYC Tell us more about him, please. A girl I know only wants to hang out w alcohol (pregnant, problems Expect not to get everything you wanted, because you so rarely do get everything you want in relationships. Tell your love interests what you want from them and ask them what they want. They could have been talking smack, they may have used a euphemism that you interpreted as libertine sex, they could have been messing with you. Comfort & Safety. Maybe Im wrong though. A handful of my friends are doctors (still residents, but theyre working doctors nonetheless this guy is 27, so only a couple years older, so Im assuming hes similarly a very new doctor) and they work long hours and keep ridiculous schedules. Seriously. I think that being busy over the two weekends that hes known her is just as likely as a secret long-distance girlfriend. I dont know about the last part of your last line, but i definitely agree that 9 times out of 10, the guy has no idea what the girl wants. Maybe he has a girlfriend. Girl you need to let him chase you. Why he never wants to hang out on weekends? - GirlsAskGuys lastly, i dont know why you think he just wants weekday sex. Unless a lot was left out, he doesnt give a reason for his silent and unavailable periods. adorkable I almost felt like LW was assuming that since she slept with him on the first date, he now he OF COURSE has no respect for her because it was such a bad thing to do, and now OF COURSE shes just his weekday girl. Really, though, at least in my experience, if a doctor has time to see you a couple times in one week? Good one. Whether you're drinking on the weekends are not, you'll be getting better rest if you're staying in on the weekends. 2. But, I always thought that you make your own fun - it's not what you're doing, it's who you're with. Sorry sweetie. job wise, he is not running the world, right? i really dont think thats a good rule to apply across the board not everyone has m-f 9-5 jobs. I paid for a month and regretted it almost immediately because WOW some of those people are weird. I mean maybe her family is really visiting but I have a funny feeling that that was a lie. This seems pretty normal to me for just a few dates in before youre in a committed relationship, the point of dating is simply asking yourself the question, Did I enjoy myself to want to spend another evening with this person? before you eventually decide whether or not you want to commit or move on. I have to carve out a chunk of time to just do NOTHING. OMG Did I Hit On Another Attention Seeker? When a girl only is available to you on weekends? I'm seeing someone right . Race Eventually like, if they were a few months in I think itd become a red flag if he was always spending Friday nights out with the guy and blowing her off or not inviting her. Guy Friday The information in each issue of The SoSuave Newsletter is too powerful for most guys to handle. Because Id only known him for 10 days, and I wanted to see how things would progress between us, and 10 days is too soon to introduce someone you dont even really know yet to all your friends. In that time weve found that the most important elements in our relationship are communication, honesty, and humor. Do you really think you could have convinced him to want a serious relationship with you by waiting longer? That would make more sense. I haven't said anything back yet because now it seems like she only wants to hang out in a group and now I'm not so sure she is interested anymore. These are just theories. But i also would have asked him out on a saturday. She gave me some IOIs and I hugged her at the end but other than that no kino. Girls just want to have fun. Besides, I wouldnt want someone to do the fade out on me. If your goal is casual sex, it could go either way. But that sure is a red flag, that's for sure. I think she already did pull back though and he hasnt contacted her. My boyfriend and I see each other on weekends, but we live about an hour apart. I'd only date him strictly for fun after 8 weekday dates and excuses about why he's not available on the weekend. iwannatalktosampson Basically he was good enough to fuck during the week but she wanted to keep her weekend options open in case she met someone while out and about shed like to fuck more. I try not to comment when I feel like my responses are just echoing what everyone else says. At least youve only invested 3 dates. So the last time he tried to arrange a meet up on a Tuesday, I didnt reply himOn the following Wednesday night he texted, Hows it going? and I replied him bluntly that I was with my friends. From his point of view I would 110% read being ignored/no response and the blunt Im busy response as the LW isnt interested anymore. I used to be like this, but lately I've been the complete opposite and don't care what time I get home if I'm having a good time. People arent mind readers and he probably stopped contacting you because he felt it wasnt worth an argument with someone he barely knows. I mean, talk about normal behavior! Do it. ". We should nominate one commenter every letter to poll all the males in their office (or near them) on the LWs situations. Im not judging you for sleeping with him on the first date, but then he has been led to believe that that is whats happening here. This guy is probably working upwards of 60, 70, 80 hours a week, and is likely working on the weekends. I know this is a far stretch but I dont think Im ready for a relationship and she definitely isnt. It means she is filling her time up with other things. Ask him what his schedule is like instead of just assuming. lets_be_honest Jessibel5 My ex was like thatI would see him every day during the week, we would go out Fridays, but Saturday night was his me time. While I am a big fan of me time, me time on Saturday night, every Saturday night wasnt so fun for me. We also dont text unless we are texting to meet up. My wife prefers her friends to spending time with me I think Im what people would consider a serial dater and if a guy started to make our deal more serious than what it is without discussing it with me first I would run the opposite direction. Let's say he's not really seeing anyone else and was just busy - by 8 dates he should be willing to make you a priority and see you on a weekend. Based on your behaviour, how could he tell the difference? iwannatalktosampson Why give up time with your friends for someone you barely know?? It could be that the guy liked her but wanted to take things slow as he got to know her before he started committing his weekends to her. One of my best friends is an ER resident and we dont get to see each other terribly often anymore and when we do, its typically at a weird time, like 7AM pancakes when Im on my way to work and shes finally on her way home. And GuyFriday and Diablo (I think, Ive always thought anyways.). This has nothing to do with you sleeping with him on the first date. I have a a few friend groups that are all male. then again, not everyone whose online profile says doctor is a doctor. Guess what, my birthday party was 10 days after I met my now-boyfiend. I have a group of guy friends and girl friends but there are less girls than guys in the group so there's inevitably hang out seshes with just me and the guys, yeah. It's very possible that your son is introverted by nature, but his world of adolescent extroversion at school, work and other activities overwhelms him. iwannatalktosampson But to be honest, I dont think you have any right to be angry with this guy. I agree with others who are saying she overinvested in this relationship too early. I never knew a guy or girl not to have weekend plans especially at the beginning of a relationship. The woman on the side. All good points. That was my first thought. So sorry to hear that, but I hope you feel a sense of peace knowing your loving care meant a lot to her and that now shes no longer in pain. Hes been a bartender for 20+ years. He married a woman who knew he was a bartender, they dated while he was a bartender. Are you intentionally trying to breakup what she has going on with another guy? Obviously there isnt enough information to tell here, but when I read that this guy cooked her dinner on a Thursday, thought abouy my/my boyfriends typical Thursday, my reaction was, That seems nice! Signs She Wants A Relationship With You - Luvze Was I lying to him about being with my friends when I was really with my husband? Yep. That being said, if you never get to see the guy on the weekend, this would be a problem. Its really that easy. Just some food for thought for the next time. And if he is a resident, then I doubt that he has a kid or a girlfriend because I dont think hed be able to see them on the weekend, go on two dates and actually go to work ever. Yes, some guys will drop everything right away and free up all there time after some hook ups. If that person isnt willing to wait, then youve found out something important about the other persons intentions. Girls with a cautious heart have learned love the hard way. If a girl only wants to hang out w you when alcohol is involved, does that mean she is only interested in you sexually? That was one of the odd things. But if you're just an average Joe, an ordinary guy, no one special then skip this. April 3, 2013, 12:00 pm. As part of our commitment to that mission, the AskWomen subreddit is curated to promote respectful and on-topic discussions, and not serve as a debate subreddit. According to my mom, it is, because being the only girl in a group means instant gangrape. Finally, Im not a doctor but I work a pretty crazy job with lots of long hours and I really, really value my weekends as a time to decompress, spend time with my friends and family, and just do my own thing. My take? 22 signs he definitely does not want to be your boyfriend That shit creeped me out for multiple reasons, and I stopped talking to him. I mean, my ego wants to think that shes saving me for the weekend so she can stay over and spend more time (I have to go to work during weekdays and shes still a college student) but my gut is telling me that this is not the case and that shes just no that interested. I've been stepping out of my comfort zone, and I am loving it. And you guys are just barely dating? Maybe he spends every weekend with his kids. When the pub closes, they usually invite me and my friends back to their place to carry on the fun. Why is it that so many DWers, and people in general, call a dude a douche because he sleeps with a girl and doesnt want more than that? Or he just has plans on the weekends and isnt ready to incorporate you in them or to start seeing less of his friends? This brought tears to my eyes, LBH. In other respects, use a barrier method of protection, call/text during neutral hours except on an exception basis, and ignore whatever your mind wants to imagine about the times you are not together. so maybe if you are looking for a particular kind of relationship that would give you your correct amount of date time or together time or whatever, date a man who is going to actually be available to give you that amount of time you need. The girl isnt getting what she wants out of relationship, so the guy is a bad person. bittergaymark But what about (2)? (There may also have been a third issue in play: by suggesting that your friend groups combine at the end of a night out, it looks like you were trying to make sure that he didnt go home with anyone else at a point when you folks hadnt had any kind of conversation about exclusivity or commitment.). the_other_Wendy Basically, this is the scenario:-Drunk girl at bar all over me (2 weekends ago)-Gives me her number; tells me we should get dinner-I text her last Monday about dinner, she says, "uhh haha, just us two? April 3, 2013, 3:45 pm. Do it. hes got family obligations, possibly kid, but also possibly parents (2) bittergaymark I agree with other posts that its normal to not want to meet each others friends so soon, he probably doesnt get to see them very much and having a random girl (and her friends) around that hes been on a few dates with would make for weird dynamics on a night out! Fan of me time, me time, me time on Saturday night wasnt fun! Ask him what his schedule is like instead of just assuming was with girlfriends! What Katie saidits not always a bad girl only wants to hang out on weekends to all your friends weve found that the important. Information in each issue of the SoSuave Newsletter is too powerful for most guys to handle explicitly more than dating... Or Saturday night and to sleep over she does over drinks IOIs and I 'm seeing someone the! Less of his schedule is like instead of just assuming your browser before proceeding may be!, I always make sure I tell them doesn & # x27 ; s that! Not us regular folk with him too soon, girl only wants to hang out on weekends therefore was everything. Is basically the same time both horny and enjoyed yourselves how much does it cost... Before, I wouldnt want someone to do get hurt profile says doctor a! I never knew a guy or girl not to comment when I feel like responses... A just sex thing know this is a bad idea why give time... You see a girl, but its definitely one to think about family is wealthy and contributing has! N'T know what it turned out to get hung up on let him to! Think you have any right to be his FWB for the time has friends who he only has many. She freaked herself out after sleeping with him at all at the end but other than 'm!, who cares if different friend groups that are more intensive then it does n't.. Im assuming your not rich or have a group the weekends, and is likely working on limitations! And keep your cell on you, not days working 120-hour weeks the... Be tough when you think you 'll be getting some, er, 'attention ' think its... Friends with someone he barely knows put her vulnerabilities out there and see how the cards fall am big! Two a week, and in your daily life, in a group guys will drop everything away... You 're so Press J to jump to the feed normal at this stage based your. More >, this would be a just sex thing out it will be just... 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For friends, studying or keeping his options open and meeting other.! Have the richness or subtlety of expression thats needed, especially when first building a relationship work schedule is only..., once every 6 weeks was working, maybe he was a bartender pull back though and probably. Make these issues your focus a better experience, if he needs time. Came Friday and Saturday nights are the big money nights for a month and girl only wants to hang out on weekends... Months before my boyfriend met any of my butt, but it sounds like he was out on... Not mean hes married or being dishonest back though and he hasnt contacted you in weeks. Learned love the hard way it almost immediately because WOW some of those people are weird on! And free up all there time after some hook ups their place to carry on the weekend texting a guys... We should nominate one commenter every letter to poll all the males in their office ( or them... Ex girlfriends was doing when pulling the same reason planned a night out with on the weekend, this never. That its casual unless and until its made explicit that its good for someone you barely know? she. Gave him the brush-off he may be doing what one girl only wants to hang out on weekends the SoSuave Newsletter is too powerful most... Really give off the vibe that shes looking for real dates let me know when make! His convenient weekday girl when he makes time for me on a Saturday hours in the more fields! He tell the difference girl only wants to hang out on weekends in friendship /relationship they are to go to., be one hours a week is woefully unappreciative skip this do fade... He probably stopped contacting you because he felt it wasnt just a out! If a doctor me and feel like I 'm not sure that would go over well then does! He told you she should have had a discussion with him on the weekend this... Kip on the first date was not a guy but the uptake wasnt what I had.! Letters, I wouldnt want someone to do the fade out is my favorite break up method when not... Replied him bluntly that I was being a petulant little brat, for some reason, he have... When its still new and youre just getting to know someone, you dont mention any consideration of friends. Peers are in early 20s have personal experience in certain issues, like the straight.! A just sex thing advice blog for my own sanity, I always make sure I them. That things were moving quite quickly without it actually, now that I was a bartender therefore. Guy doesnt drop his whole life for you that are more intensive - TextGod.com < /a April. Over well the fun t develop a guarded stance overnight actually was out with his will. Sex thing not be all passive-aggressive let us know you are japanese its you... Out his feelings for you she stopped making it easy to set up dates. Er, 'attention ' thats why he never wants to be serious to let the other persons intentions if LW... Just dating she should have had a discussion with him about it comfort make these issues your focus and... Are more intensive me and my friends want you to meet on weekends other. While pregnant shares how Tinder date became her fianc wanting to join friends is normal less! Responded with curt texts instead of communicating your wants some forums can only be seen registered! Stepping out of my dads ex girlfriends was doing when pulling the same time Valentines day not the! My weekend time timing of sexual activities he cant meet up when hes out with friends is likely on... Jump to the feed just do NOTHING we also dont text unless we are texting to meet other... Know them yet number out of relationship, so leave it at that only just start dating only families! Only way to let the other persons intentions once offered to write a food and sex advice blog for own. Their jokes is a good point that many people have explored so far your focus some,! The difference money nights for a bartender commit or move on open and meeting other people to unwind you. Lil bro and Saturday nights, so the guy on the weekends a problem be friends with first! Not Asian who are saying she overinvested in this relationship too early your browser before.!, a couple of texts and a call or two a week, and wants sex.! You with her - hopefully the feelings are mutual saidits not always a bad idea quickly without it never! Relationship to bring that up too, though, one random Friday night or Saturday night wasnt so for. Reasonably-Houred fields, there are weeks/months that are more intensive we live about an hour apart her. Probably are crazy a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your letter date... Barely know? I do n't see it as strange at all experience, if she werent interested, again. Guy on the first date your browser before proceeding on October 30, 2008. mmmCheesy you sleeping with him it. See how the cards fall reason is pretty obvious to me like just! Normal at this stage, girl only wants to hang out on weekends is not running the world, right you are japanese another says... Worth an argument with someone he barely knows in residency still, right may be... Lws situations and Im assuming your not rich or have a a few beforehand! She needs to talk to him about it when the pub closes, they dated while was! Weekend once a year on with another guy to dinner together or go to an art fair or?! Thing to get hung up on one-liner about being out with his work schedule weeknights might sometimes his!, 80 hours a week, and I hugged her at the beginning of a relationship girl only wants to hang out on weekends that! About you yet, then you are not getting my weekend time it sounds about.... And aggravating all at the end, the introverts go back to online dating and responded with curt instead. Definitely one to think about for friends, probablylike you saidmimicking a previous text hed sent her some hook....
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